Friday, March 28, 2008

Nipple Rings and National Security

Does anyone really believe that nipple rings pose a terrorist threat?

In a February 24 exercise in self-parody, Tyrants Snooping on Americans (TSA) forced Mandi Hamlin to remove her nipple rings before deigning to permit her to board a plane, the U.S. citizen claimed at a news conference yesterday.

TSA's petty power-mongers were at least honest enough to acknowledge that belly button rings, on the other hand, do not pose a terrorist threat. They allowed Ms. Hamlin to board still wearing one of those.

4 comments:

James Atticus Bowden said...

Were the rings attached to live hand grenades? If not, I'd like to know the reason for demanding the removal of nipple rings.

Tony said...

Well I can see if a secret terrorists sneaked on with a giant magnatron (that would weight in the range of several hundred pounds and need massive amounts of energy) and found a way to sit her in the back of the plane. That way he could say he would disfigure her and kill everyone directly in front of her if they didn't fly to where he wanted.

Too much of a stretch?

How about, SHE'S A NINJA!!! And her nipple rings are her weapon of choice???

Naw, I'll just go along with you. I'm sure there is somebody in the world that can kill a whole airplane full of people with nipple rings. But they probably already work for the US government.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. If one continues south on some indivuals - south of the navel thingies, even - more metal can be found. This could get really intrusive.

Reverse_Vampyr said...

Those TSA goons should be fired. If nobody on duty at the time had the common sense and decency to handle this situation correctly, they don't deserve their jobs.

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